**This excerpt is taken from John Piper's mini biography on David Brainerd
Brainerd struggled to love the Indians.
If love is known by sacrifice, then Brainerd loved. But if it is also known by heartfelt compassion then Brainerd struggled to love more than he did. Sometimes he was melted with love.
September 18, 1742:
Felt some compassion for souls, and mourned I had no more. I feel much more kindness, meekness, gentleness and love towards all mankind, than ever (181).
December 26, 1742:
Felt much sweetness and tenderness in prayer, especially my whole soul seemed to love my worst enemies, and was enabled to pray for those that are strangers and enemies to God with a great degree of softness and pathetic fervor (193).
Tuesday, July 2, 1745:
Felt my heat drawn out after God in prayer, almost all the forenoon; especially while riding. And in the evening, could not help crying to God for those poor Indians; and after I went to bed my heart continued to go out to God for them, till I dropped asleep.
Oh, ‘Blessed be God that I may pray!’ (302).
But other times he seemed empty of affection or compassion for their souls. He expresses guilt that he should preach to immortal souls with no more ardency and so little desire for their salvation (235). His compassion could simply go flat.
November 2, 1744:
About noon, rode up to the Indians; and while going, could feel no desires for them, and even dreaded to say anything to ‘em (272).
So Brainerd struggled with the rise and fall of love in his own heart. He loved, but longed to love so much more.
To read the rest of Piper's biography, click on the link below.
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/books/david-brainerd
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